Welcome back to the corner of the internet where psychology gets weird (and a little snacky).
This is the Sugar Cereal newsletter AKA funfetti for your frontal lobe.
Grab a spoon and let’s dig in! 🥣
highly favored 🗝️
What if the secret to getting someone to like you was asking them to do something for you?
Weird, right? But that’s exactly what Ben Franklin discovered back in the 1700s. He got his haters to become fans with one simple trick.
And you can do the same…no powdered wig required. 🙃
The backstory: Franklin once asked a political rival to lend him a rare book. The man agreed, Franklin returned the book with thanks, and then something strange happened: they became friends.
Modern psychology confirmed the phenomenon and named it the Ben Franklin Effect. People who do a favor for someone often like that person more afterward.
Why? Because our brains hate cognitive dissonance. If we help someone, our brain retroactively decides we must like them. Otherwise, why would we bother?
We assume we need to win people over before asking for help, but asking someone for a small favor can actually create goodwill and connection.
OK, now that you know why favor-asking builds affection, how do you actually use it? Try these tips out in the real world:
🙋♀️ Networking? Get their thoughts or ask to borrow something simple, like a pen. It makes them feel helpful and more connected to you.
👥 Managing a team? Delegate small, meaningful asks early. People feel more invested in what they help build (a la the Ikea Effect).
💌 Trying to build rapport? Let someone “do something for you,” even if it’s just reviewing an idea or sharing their perspective.
Sometimes the best way to get closer isn’t to give, it’s to ask.
Let people show up for you. The favor might be small, but the bond it builds? You just might turn a skeptic stranger into a trusted pal. 🤝
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